It’s Not Fear If You’re Not Afraid
Ten exhilarating days in Costa Rica, so many wonderful experiences and mind blowing synchronicities, from hiking tall mountains to swimming with stingrays as they performed in the oceans surf.
The zip-lines took me high over the most majestic river, as I hung on tight I couldn’t help but chant a few lines from Shirley MacLaine, ‘if they could see me now..’
White water rafting and water up my nose, we plummeted down cliffs with intimidating waves ten feet high. Trekking hours in a rain forest ducking and dodging one of the biggest spiders in the world, being careful not to trod on the iguanas scurrying across our path.
We were looking for a waterfall, one that would bring me to tears when I jumped in to swim to it. With my eyes closed I managed to propel as close as I could get to the breaking spray.
The noise was deafening, overwhelming and almighty but somehow I managed to hear myself thank the Universe for providing such a gift for me to enjoy.
All of these incredible experiences but not one of them I feared, I didn’t feel afraid or intimidated, only great excitement and exhilaration. The fear came one day when we decided to go horse back riding, ‘what a great idea’, I said to myself, little did I know that I would experience the most fear I have felt in a very long time.
There were two white and well groomed stallions waiting for us when we arrived, as soon as the horse-man motioned me to put my foot in the stirrup my entire being when into freeze mode.
My heart was beating faster than my breath could keep up with it, I was nervous as hell. It took me all of my might not to change my mind, dismount and run, thanks to my travel mate and her encouragement off we trotted (making my fear worsen) into the forest.
I make no fine and posed jockey that is for sure, I was bouncing around like a bingo ball in a cage, my helmet on crooked and my hands in a death grip on the saddle, the only way to keep breathing was to sing loudly, which I did from start to finish.
I wanted to kiss the earth when my feet touched the ground again, I got of that horse as fast as I could when we came to the end of the trail. I managed to laugh about the experience hours later, and when I had some quiet time to reflect I realized how silly I was to be so afraid.
When my nerves were settled and the fear was gone, I went back in my mind to review my terror and I couldn’t come up with any viable cause to justify it, actually if given the chance I would have loved to have had another chance on that beautiful and very patient horse again.
Everything happens for a reason, you hear me say those words a lot, and yes, that stallion had something valuable to teach me that day.
Not only did it put up with my really bad singing but it also felt my apprehension and kept me safe. Fear is such a delusion of the mind, it cripples us in situations when there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.
I was grateful in the end to have faced a fear in me that I didn’t know existed, because now I have a greater understanding of it.
I suppose the best way to conquer our fears is to truly face them, there is no other way, but one thing is for sure and this is something you can totally trust, once you face a fear, it is gone forever.
Much love to you